Midnight Musings

Sometimes I fear writing on this blog because if I share too much information about myself, even if the number of readers is small, then I risk:

  1. Losing my humility: I like to keep to myself a lot. When I work hard for something, I do it quietly and it only becomes public when there is no way of hiding it. I try my best to do everything for His sake and I fear that talking about it, in person and on this platform, may seem to others that I am showing off. I put a lot of effort in making my intentions pure and I do not want to tarnish that.
    May Allah allow everything I do to be done with pure intentions and may He always remind me to be humble while being confident.
  2. Being vulnerable: sharing too much of my personal life causes me to put my guard down and makes me feel defenseless. I have written multiple times about this subject and I have learned from Brene Brown in her book, Rising Strong, that showing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. I have improved a lot with this aspect in my personal life, and in the past few months, that has been reflected in some of the topics that I have chosen to write about on this blog. My blog entires have lessened recently and a big part of that is that I have been going through a lot of major changes and sharing my feelings, my struggles, my emotions regarding all of these new changes will cause me to be vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me. Even sharing this bit about vulnerability is terrifying, but I’m working on it.

My goal: balance my humility and vulnerability so that I can share my life, through writing, personal conversations, and beyond, without compromising either. I know that comes with understanding of my own limits and of the true meaning of both. May God ease this task and allow me to be successful in achieving humility and confidence in my vulnerability.

–IH

His [Not So Much] Better Whole

I wrote this short story about a year and a half ago, during my last semester of undergrad in the Creative Writing class I took. How do you interpret the story? I’ve misplaced my heart, he tells me. “Men are … Continue reading

Back to the beginning, a renewal. May we live and die doing khair for the sake of Allah.

—We Both Know (God and now I)— I just realized how much I’ve been holding back, back from really feeling. This strange phenomenon occurred subconsciously, anything but purposely… My heart and brain has been fighting to block out hurt and … Continue reading