Midnight Musings

Sometimes I fear writing on this blog because if I share too much information about myself, even if the number of readers is small, then I risk:

  1. Losing my humility: I like to keep to myself a lot. When I work hard for something, I do it quietly and it only becomes public when there is no way of hiding it. I try my best to do everything for His sake and I fear that talking about it, in person and on this platform, may seem to others that I am showing off. I put a lot of effort in making my intentions pure and I do not want to tarnish that.
    May Allah allow everything I do to be done with pure intentions and may He always remind me to be humble while being confident.
  2. Being vulnerable: sharing too much of my personal life causes me to put my guard down and makes me feel defenseless. I have written multiple times about this subject and I have learned from Brene Brown in her book, Rising Strong, that showing vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. I have improved a lot with this aspect in my personal life, and in the past few months, that has been reflected in some of the topics that I have chosen to write about on this blog. My blog entires have lessened recently and a big part of that is that I have been going through a lot of major changes and sharing my feelings, my struggles, my emotions regarding all of these new changes will cause me to be vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me. Even sharing this bit about vulnerability is terrifying, but I’m working on it.

My goal: balance my humility and vulnerability so that I can share my life, through writing, personal conversations, and beyond, without compromising either. I know that comes with understanding of my own limits and of the true meaning of both. May God ease this task and allow me to be successful in achieving humility and confidence in my vulnerability.

–IH

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2 thoughts on “Midnight Musings

  1. I totally feel the same way. It’s tough and I struggle with being humble and confident, I feel sometimes I veer more towards one way vs the other. I actually deleted my blog because of the same issues you discussed-humility and sharing too much.

    But, as is the case with a writer, when writing is in your innate nature, when you dont write, you feel as if you will…Implode!

    Writing to a writer is the sky is to a bird, it cannot exist without this essential element. So im slowly starting to write while being cautious that what I write benefits others, Trying to watch my intention, sometimes my intention is I just need to vent and get it out. I try to be cognizant and turn the rant into something that will be food for thought and get people to see ALLAH s.w.t and connect to him more.

    And sharing too much I learned the hard way-has adverse affects such as the evil eye and people being too much in ur business. But, enough abt me lol.

    I think you guys are both amazing writers, but primarily you have recently been contributing more entries, right?

    The blog is chockful of inspiration, hope, and beauty MA!

    If I could make a teensy suggestion, if you dont mind. When I read your blog or other blogs or watch vlogs, I notice MASHALLAH! You and others have soooooo much Islamic knowledge MA! I wanted to know how others, who have sort of fallen to the wayside maybe due to ignorance, not having religious parents, not growing up in a religious home or perhaps havent been Sunday School graduates. How can people like us who have either been on the path of knowledge and got distracted or those who are Muslim but never learned or were taught about Islam learn more?

    How did you garner your islamic knowledge and what are some steps, we can gain more knowledge and be inspired to walk on the path of the deen?

    JAZAKALLAH KHAIR sis and sorry to over-step my boundaries with my suggestion.

    • Wa iyyaki!! It’s people like you that make having this blog worthwhile. JAK! Your comment is very heartfelt and I am glad you felt that you could share your thoughts and feelings so easily and that you could relate to my current dilemma.
      I also do the same in trying to transform my rants to something that may benefit everyone. May Allah ease the struggles we have in terms of writing and protect us as we share our lives with our readers so that does not become a factor in ending our writing.
      To answer your question about Islamic knowledge, I just want to put it out there that I do not consider myself to have as much Islamic knowledge as you may believe. I am consistently working towards bettering myself in every sphere especially in my deen. But I am continuously seeking knowledge and some of my favorite ways of doing that include joining a local halaqa with people your age where you can discuss Islamic topics on a weekly basis (availability of this depends now here you live), joining classes at your local masjid, watching YouTube videos by some well-renown scholars (my favorites include Omar Suleiman, Yasir Qadi, Mufti Ismail Menk, and Norman Ali Khan). Also you can subscribe to Bayyinah channel that has a lot of amazing classes you can take for a reasonable price. And check out ilmflix.com to check out free classes by some of my favorite scholars. I’ve learned so much from all of these resources, but definitely consult with someone like your local sheikh or Islamic leader for more ways in which to increase yourself in knowledge in your area! The sky is your limit.
      JAK for contributing to ur blog! May Allah bless you and reward you and ease your trials.

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