I was flipping through my note pad the other day–the one I use to jot down simple notes and reminders when I am in a hurry– and I came across a sentence that I wrote to myself. I don’t remember when I wrote it, but it must have been within the past year as I have only had this note pad for about that long. It said,
As long as you don’t choose, everything remains possible.
I really have no clue when I wrote this, because I cannot think of a time when that sentence seemed extremely relevant to my life. But as I look back at it now, months later, I realize how profound it is.
I don’t think of myself as an indecisive person, but when I consider all of the major life decisions that I have had to make, I realize that it was never an easy process. I usually consult with God first, through praying istikhara, then with my parents, and people closest to me in my life.
When it comes to the unknown, I fantasize that the decision I make is the best and it will yield a beautiful life. But in the back of my mind, I know that I could be making the worst choice of my life. It is in those instances that this note I wrote to myself that I found as I was aimlessly flipping through my notepad holds the most truth. Because if I never make a decision, then I will have a world of possibilities at my hand. My future, though still unknown, can go in multiple directions, and it is up to me to choose the way I want it to go. By not choosing, I am buying myself more time. More time to think, and to learn what I really want my future to look like.
But at the end of the day, by not choosing, I am still making a decision. It may not be a direct decision, but the idea of buying myself more time, is simply choosing not to choose. The opportunity may never present itself again, and by failing to make a decision, I am missing out on the opportunity.
This all comes back to the core of my life, and that is my faith. By continuing to consult God, making a decision becomes a matter of tawakkul–my true trust in and reliance on God. He will guide me towards the best choices, even if that means taking away something that I chose for myself.
As I think back to that note, I realize now that the opposite is true:
As long as you don’t choose, nothing remains possible.