*I am thinking about making this a regular segment on the blog, since Sundays seems to be the days I wind down and gather all my thoughts.
“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the fellow leaves from the bough of your heart so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
Recently, I went through a major incident in which my life was directly affected by a choice made by another person. It all came as a shock to me and those around me, and I was deeply hurt and upset at the way things went down. The thing that upset me the most was not necessarily the choice that was made, but rather the way in which it was made–in a hurry and without even consulting me. It was a shock to say the least.
It was difficult to sort out my feelings, at first. After the initial shock and confusion were over, I felt betrayed and deceived. But with a lot of effort and the support of some pretty amazing people in my life, I was able to get through it.
Below are some ways that helped me manage the whole ordeal and inshAllah they may be ways for you to manage situations in which you feel like you have no control.
1. Trusting God. One of the most comforting things is having true belief that Allah is greater than all my worries and all my pains and that He knows better than I what is best for me, even if I cannot see it at this moment. Especially in difficult times, trusting that Allah will not leave me hanging is one of the most heart-warming feelings. Unlike His creation, Allah will never let us down.
2. Knowing that I was at no loss. Despite being advised against this decision in the beginning, I truly aim to be humble in everything that I do, so agreeing to this seemed to fit my humble aspirations. However, when the situation occurred, I realized that I was losing nothing. If anything, I was given the opportunity to gain more and to do better with my life. When regret started to creep up on the decision maker, it was made more clear how true this was for me.
3. Practicing what I preach. Last year I started an Optimism Group with my friends, and I always talk about the benefits of being positive. I aim to always be happy and to look on the bright side of things, even when to some it may seem like there is no bright side. This episode really tested my positivity, and really pushed me to take the advice I always give to others. Being positive makes all the difference
4. Keeping busy. Dwelling over things that I cannot change seems regressive. I busied myself with my schoolwork and my faith, and I focused on bettering myself, because with Allah’s help and guidance, that is the only thing I really do have control over.
Alhamdulilah following the above tips has allowed me to see the situation for what it was and despite it having occurred the way it did, I am grateful it occurred. Like the Rumi quote above states, “sorrow prepares you for joy,” and already Allah has given me opportunities for such joy, alhamdulilah–All praise is due to Allah.