A piece inspired by observations of disconnect…
When she closes her eyes, she sees her several long night drives on her way home from school. She sees the dark yet artificially illuminated winding highway road as cars zoom by. Her eyes see the dashboard read 80 mph, her right hand grasping the steering wheel, her other hand resting on her chin, but her mind sees a different yet similar image. Her mind travels a different winding road analyzing the zooming artifacts that whizz across her frontal lobes spanning back to her occipital lobes. This mind thinks about what it means to live, what it means to love, what it means to understand… what it means to keep going. Her large eyes give way to endless pouring bucketfulls of rain. As her mind delves deeper and deeper into this cross examination with everything flying around in chaos, it shuts down and gives in. It gives in to her heart that hangs on to a shred of light that barely peeks in through the muddled mess. Her heart demands her brain to wake up, WAKE UP! The roads become unclear, the steering wheel loses control, lights swivel all around, metal sparks fly, and car horns screech.
Her gasping heart struggles for air. The tiny, strong heart stands up and begins slapping her across the face, grabs hold of eyelids and shakes brain to wake up. Heart pleads with neurons to send its signals back up to the mother board. Heart stomps and screams trying to get attention, but flounders. Heart kicks arms to move but they lay limp on her side. Heart realizes that she won’t help. When lips fail to stir, heart falls to her knees and begins to supplicate the One who hears everything unspoken, imploring His love because that is the elixir keeping heart alive. Heart swims in tears asking for His love to flow through the veins and arteries of the rest of her body to resuscitate her life, breathlessly asking for faithful strength to infuse mitochondria of every oxygen deprived cell of her poor body. Thirsting for a cohesive entity to awaken every unit, heart cares for all of her, not just for self, sincerely imploring, this very soul’s life depended on it.
She wakes up from the simulation, the matrix of all matrices. It felt so real, did her body really fail her? Did her heart barely muster the strength to fight, to save her entirety? She thinks about what it means to live, what it means to love, what it means to understand… what it means to keep going. Unsure of what happened, she rests her hand on her chest, closes her eyes, and tenderly whispers, “Oh Over-turner of hearts, keep my heart steadfast in your faith. Illuminate my path from in front of me, behind me, to my right and left, above and below me, illuminate my imperfect omnitude. Allow your radiance to illuminate my sight, hearing, speech, and actions. Drench my blood, my brain, my heart, my flesh, skin, and bones in Your glow, and allow me to bask in Your brilliance.” Ameen.
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