Love. It seems to be the topic of choice lately. Everyone wants to talk about love, think about love, and be in love. Most girls my age are married or engaged, and a lot of the single girls have set marriage as the main priority in their lives. Though I have nothing against marriage, and plan to get married when God wills, I feel that we should not be waiting around til love arrives at our doorstep. Our lives should not revolve around finding the one person who will complete us. If that is our goal, then we will surely be disappointed because what most people do not realize is that our spouse should not complete us (implying that we are incomplete without them), but rather compliment us.
Lying under the stars was the first time the seeds of sublime love were laid in my heart and that the very principles of my faith as a Muslim seemed to take root. I’d heard the words “love comes after marriage” so many times and in so many ways, but it was this spectacular moment that illuminated the meaning of how the search for love of the Divine could help me find the love I was looking for in a man. My faith was trying to tell me that if I found love for Him, that would create the love I searched for in a person.
Janmohamed was on point with this idea. In so many parts of our lives we search for love where we want it to be be reciprocated. We begin to love and attach to people and things and when they leave us, we become depressed, disappointed and empty. However the thing that most people do not realize is that true love is The Never Ending Love. It is the attachment that can never be broken because it is something beyond human capability. No matter how much we neglect God, He is always there to forgive us and to love us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He will never leave us, never disappoint us, and always fulfill us. Doesn’t that sound like the love that we so often seek? We seek it because we need it, however we are looking for it in all the wrong places–in people who are as imperfect as we are. We should be seeking it in the One who is Perfect. As Yasmin Mogahed says in her book Reclaim Your Heart:
This means that you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation–not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness. That is love.
During the month of October, Azkar and I set out to find this true, everlasting love. We decided to invest in the authentic love that so many people search for in the wrong places. In my search for true love, I needed to build my relationship with God to a point where my heart was content with everything He sent my way–good or bad. I began by re-evaluating all of my relationships with the people in my life. I realized I could not love them to the best of my capability until I loved God in the truest way because only then would I love the people in my life for His sake. I had conversations with Him about my troubles and worries and I let Him speak to me through His words in the Quran. During times when I would usually talk to my mother or Azkar, I made it a point to ask God for His guidance, and each time I did that my love for Him grew more. When my greatest aspiration was to love Allah, I began to watch a transformation within myself. My troubles were lessened because I constantly remembered that there is no problem which He cannot solve. I finally understood that love was not all about me, as we tend to believe when loving each other. It was not about making me happy, but about attaining a state of equilibrium in which I was giving and not just receiving. This reflected my relationships with people because it made me work harder for their love, as well.
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